Letter to a Publisher

Dear Publisher,


Fuck you very much for your reply expressing interest in publishing the manuscript I submitted to you over two years ago. Unfortunately for you, that particular manuscript was published by another publisher eighteen months ago.

I realise there has been some delay in my response to your offer of publication as it arrived three months ago, but you unfortunately did not include a stamped, self-addressed envelope with your offer. Should you wish me to consider you as a potential publisher in the future, please carefully read the Offer of Publication Guidelines on my author website.

I’d like to extend none of my apologies for any disappointment caused by the lack of availability of my manuscript and wish you all the best in your newfound interest in publishing decent literature.

Better luck next time.

Kindest Regards,

Maxine Beneba Clarke